Plateau! & 8 Weeks

Looks like I am at a plateau this week. I have been here before and I know it is part of the process. Things are still working and I will see results elsewhere than on the scale.

Today I travel with my team (Challenge Lab Teachers) to Ft. Worth for the TAGT conference. It is the best professional development conference I have been to and I have gone for years! It is also the largest conference in the U.S. for gifted education. This year we are speaking again about the Challenge Lab in one of the breakout sessions. This is one of the highlights of my year.

I am taking my protein bars so I can "nibble" and not have any problems. We will see how this kind of traveling works with my new situation.

from Peggy's book:

"Life is what we are alive to.

It is not length but breadth....

Be alive to... goodness, kindness, purity,

love, history, poetry, music, flowers,

stars, God, and eternal hope."

-Maltbie D. Babcock

It is what it is!

I have enjoyed 5+ days without major episodes. The key for me is to nibble and not eat. It is the mindset I have to have to slow down enough to get the food in without triggering a negative response.

I forgot to take my vitamins with me to work and I was sooooo tired by the late afternoon! That will be a lesson learned.

Short post today but here is the quote:

"To be alive, to be able to see, to walk, to have a home . . . it's all a miracle.

-Arthur Rubinstein"

(from Peggy's book)

Memories of a Lifetime

What a lovely day we had with my in-laws yesterday. I am truly blessed to have married into a family that I love and loves me.

John's sister, Gail and her sweet hubby, John have a wonderful home filled with memories and have incorporated Ken and Virginia's lives into those memories since they combined households about 1 1/2 years ago. Virginia is in the advanced stage of Alzheimer's and is on hospice care.

They have her hospital bed in the family room and keep her in the midst of activity as much as possible.

Several friends came to the celebration yesterday and it was wonderful to see them interact with her. We took pictures, ate (mostly them, not me too much) and talked and visited. Gail had us all "circle up" and John (R.) prayed a blessing over this occasion of joy. Then we all sang the alma mater of Abilene Christian University (this is a powerful memory for Virginia, as she didn't know any lullabies and this is the song she sang to all of her babies) As we sang, Virginia sang along with us and didn't miss a beat! We sang another "church song" and again she sang right with us. John said, "Well, she may not know any of her sons, but she knows her God." Gail told several stories of Virginia's lucid moments since she has been with them and it was joyful. I am so thankful for Gail and John who generously devote their lives, home, time and energy to my sweet parents-in-law. Ken is in a wonderful home and able to stay with Virginia because of this arrangement. He is the epitome of unconditional love toward Virginia, never wavering from his devotion to her.

I am counting my blessings today and my heart is filled.

I took my own food for the weekend and then nibbled along at the appropriate times. The family (except for Virginia, Gail and John K.) went to eat lunch Saturday @ Cracker Barrel. I had a cup of vegetable soup, and some cornbread in it, nibbled on a biscuit too. It was all great- no pain, or "rejection" by my tummy. At the party, I nibbled a few pretzels. On the way home, I had my protein drink, and nibbled on some of John K.'s pickled okra (Yummy!) and it was all fine. I am thinking that this idea of "nibbling" is on the right track.

1 John 4: 7-8 (NIV)

^"7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

I will try to post some pictures here, later on.

Saturday in Houston

This morning we are in Houston preparing to celebrate Ken and Virginia Rich's 65th wedding anniversary.

What an example they are of unconditional and totally committed love for one another. We are expecting to see several family members this afternoon, and enjoy the company of this close knit loving group.

Are they (we) perfect? no, are we always in agreement? no- but we are a family who loves and supports each other.

I wonder about Jesus and His "family of disciples" when he walked among them. We know there were some quarrels, and discontent, even betrayal. HE chose them and they were not perfect. He knew they had faults and chose them anyway. He taught them by example. How can we learn from Jesus and His family? Unconditional and committed love is a choice. It is one we can make every hour of every day. It may look a little different to each of us, but the result is the same. We belong. One of the greatest needs that we share as humans, and as God's creations.

It is a beautiful day in Houston and we will make memories today that will warm our hearts for years to come. I am blessed by this family of mine.

My last two days have been wonderful in the eating department. I have been able to go slow, to nibble my way through meals and not rush. It has made a great improvement.

I hope you enjoy the blessings of this autumn Saturday and the extra hour we get to have tonight.

I Peter 2:15-17 (NIV)

" ¹⁵ For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. ¹⁶ Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. ¹⁷ Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor."

Surprises are good...

Last night, Jon and Chelsea dropped in unexpectedly- :)

It was great to see them. They brought another load of furniture, etc to the river house for storage until they move the end of Dec. to San Antonio.

They told some hilarious stories of their pets and I enjoyed their visit.

This week has been a challenge on all fronts. I am looking forward to a change of scenery this weekend. We will go to Houston for John's parents' 65 anniversary. I finally get to see the Keker-Rich home and have a visit with family.

I will renew my resolve to push through this barrier. It is a stage of the recovery and readjustment to my new "innards" so I will keep on track as best I can and will be glad on the other side of this process.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

weigh-in wednesday

25 finally! wow.

So glad to make this milestone. Not much time today for writing so here is the bottom line.

Saw the Dr. yesterday and he adjusted my new meds. I am looking forward to feeling like my self soon. He repeated several times that this is part of the process of recovery. I know that in my head, but in my heart ----not so much. I was taking anti-depressants for 10+ years before the surgery and was so thankful to have relief from what was obviously a chemical imbalance. As with so much of this process I am scared that it won't work on some level.

If you have ever struggled with weight or depression you will understand the fear of trying something and it doesn't work. It is a mental battle for the most part, and though I know this new "tool"(gastric bypass) has to work, I have many more experiences of failure. That is what is strong in my mind and what I have to overcome.

It is much like faith- In my head (and my heart) I know that God is in control. I have many experiences that have proved his faithfulness to take care of me and my loved ones. I have full confidence in His providence.......until my impatience kicks-in. Then the doubts begin to slip into the cracks of my imperfect being. Those doubts are not from God. The strengthening of my faith comes from a conscious choice. Pushing away those doubts and releasing my control. Sure! That's an easy one! ha-ha. The need for certain chemicals to balance out my emotions complicates the whole picture. I have no reason to deny my need for this kind of help.

It is not a "sign of weakness" that my faith is weak. I believe and I can live in faith - as the scripture says God's grace is made perfect in weakness. God uses "weak" people to accomplish His purpose. If I am weak, then He can use me! So I will accept the help of medicine in order for God to accomplish His purpose for my life.

How can He use me if I am too afraid to live my life??? My struggles become my strengths. If I try to claim the credit for "being strong" then He can't be shared. It is not me but Christ who lives in me.

It is a paradox of Christianity that true strength is found in weakness. Jesus himself embodied the world's idea of weakness, even to the point of submitting to an excruciating death. However, just as Christ's saving power worked through that "weakness," so God's power is often most visible in the midst of suffering, humility, and weakness.

http://www.gospel.com/topics/when+i+am+weak

'Nuff said???

November is here!

What a great weekend we had.

Beautiful and Cold on Saturday morning and our first handgun lesson. It was way more fun and I had a blast! All of my shots hit the target where they were supposed to- (do I have to tell you we were only a couple of yards from it?) Any way, I need to work on strengthening my fingers so I can release the clip and cock the gun. It was so much fun to do.

After that, we stopped by Dillard's and I bought a couple of new things to wear at the state convention for gifted children where my team and I are presenting a session on the Challenge Lab. WOW I went down 2 sizes! woo-hoo! that was fun too.
Then home to a hair appointment. We (really my hairdresser) decided to change things up a bit. So I am now darker blond (really light brown if you ask me) and the shape has changed of the hair cut so it actually looks a little longer than when I first went in!!!!
Then went to dinner with several friends from church. What a great time we had being together and visiting. Eating was a challenge all weekend- but my friend, Donna made me a chicken breast plain and I tried some green beans w/ no problem.
Sunday was great with my little class (5 year olds) and then the service was good. I felt bad during the service and we came right home. I tried to eat, thinking it might help- WRONG!!!! After that episode, I slept for 1 1/2 hours. Then spent the rest of the day trying to get my graduate classwork done and turned in. ugh! I did "baby" my tummy the rest of the evening.
I started some liquid anti-depressant on Friday and I think it is helping some. I am not as emotional as I was last week. I am still not quite leveled out and go back to my primary care tomorrow to see what he thinks. I expect he may up the dose a bit this time.....until I get leveled out.
I am at school, because we have open house tonight and I will probably leave here around 7:15 or so, and then I plan to "crash" when I get home......
I am reading this book for my grad class that is very challenging to me... The title is "UNchristian" by David Kinnaman. it talks about how the younger generation (ages about 17-ish to about 29) need transparency from Christians and how they need to see us "keepin' it real" so I decided to just be open about my struggle with depression and how the medicine really makes a difference in my life. I don't see it as being "weak in my faith" because I am weak as a human. I see it as a way that God gives me grace to go on and live my life with a measure of courage.


As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NIV)
8) Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9) But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10) That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak then I am strong.

I can't say that I want to boast about my weaknesses, but hiding them doesn't do any good. I can say that God's grace will fill in the many cracks and faults that I have as I strive to live the life He wants for me.